Why did the duck cross the road?

Because it didn’t wanna get smushed!


I’m certain it…

I’m certain it’s a vast improvement over how I feel now. My bones are aching, especially the ones with steel rods in them, and it’s almost making me want to cry, but I’m dealing with it.
Sort of…
This is extremely embarrassing, since I just told my girlfriend a few weeks ago, “Baby, I don’t get sick!” as she was concerned for my health, and now here I am fucking pitiful, struggling out of bed, to go to work and shit like that. It sucks so much more than I could ever adequately describe, and now that this gloomy piece of information is over and done with it’s come to my attention that some of you out there are loyal and regular visitors. I’m sorry I haven’t been updating as much, and I appreciate every viewer I get, but I anticipate a couple weeks of progressively getting worse before I kick my way through this sick cocoon and feel fine.

For now, consider Night Time Day Dreamer on standby mode until further notice.Image

Lets talk about… Family…

I’ve been ignoring my blogging duties, and for that I’m sorry, but as of recent my step dad is out of the hospital. He’s using a walker, his leg’s a little swollen, but all in all I think he’s fine. My mother disagrees. This is a 54 year old man who had 3 surgeries in 5 days, came out of each one and then asked to borrow my laptop to do online paperwork for his bank, pay bills, and a bunch of other stuff. A man who’d rather be working immediately after surgery rather than sit still and be babysat. So when my mom asked me to keep an eye on him, I said sure, and then I sat in a room and  played Fallout New Vegas while he watched a dvd in his room. If he needed anything beyond his means, he shouted out for some assistance. My sister and mom however seem to believe that he’s suddenly crippled and can’t do anything on his own at all without stressing over every little thing.

I’m not going to say all women are stupid, but the ones who are, are being stupid because they’re being unnecessarily emotional, and extremely over dramatic. My mother, and sister are being those things. Jesse tries to pick up his grandson, my sister freaks out along with my mom, “You can’t carry him, you’re hurt!” I just want to tell my mom, “Bitch! stop freaking out, his legs injured, not his fucking arms! As long as he’s sitting down while he plays with Noah, where’s the harm?” But instead I deal with my mom bitching at me in cooperation with my sister about why having me at the house with him is so awful, well then stop inviting me over bitch! This is exactly why I’m moving almost a thousand miles away as soon as I can! That’s almost not even a figure of speech either, I plan on moving to Nashville, which is 916 miles away from here! My sister tried to talk me out of it using the very same argument, “It’s almost a thousand miles away, we’d never be able to see you…” Well that’s one of it’s many attractions!

A long story short, My family asked me to help them out with stuff they wanted done, and then got mad because I didn’t do it, “Right” Obviously they’ve never heard that saying about when you want something done your way, then do it yourself.

Happy Birthday to all!

I very frequently express my distaste for social interaction with people I don’t know, but for the people I do know very well, I like to do things that make them happy. For example, on their birthday’s instead of giving them a generic, “Happy Birthday!” and blasting a confetti popper in their face, I like to give them a variation that they’ll enjoy, appreciate and understand. Occasionally though, I find myself drawing a blank on what they’ll consider a great birthday wish, and I’m forced to take a chance with something that I’ll find funny, but might not be to them. Today I took a pretty big risk, with an extremely obscure reference, “It is your Birthday.” 

One sentence, one calm, placid, droll, and dull sentence stating ones birth anniversary. Not even an exclamation mark, because I’m just stating a fact. I was concerned this might go over his head, because even though he’s a big office fan, it’s a very small part in the series, with a lot of memorable moments that are so much more amusing, but this piece of comical bronze (It’s not even the second best I could’ve come up with) seems to have struck paydirt with the friend in question.
I’m already drunk at this point, but if I weren’t already drinking, I’d be raising a glass of whiskey in self satisfaction.

So it goes like this…

I’m becoming increasingly more aware of how violent I have been in the past, how violent I could be if I didn’t control my anger anymore, how violent I sound to people when I am asked to describe how I received each and everyone of my scars. My coworker actually commented to me, “You were a wild kind of person growing up weren’t you?”

And that’s the thing, I wasn’t really. I was the kid who liked to sit in the back of class with a comic book, circumstances unfolded to shape me into the way I am. Looking at pictures of me B.I. (Before Independence) I was really happy, not eternally angry like I was a few years ago. I have a gleam in my eyes that say’s I haven’t given up on my dreams… Now that gleam is gone, and it’s been replaced with a general distrust of everybody, a sense of impending doom that has made me something of a wild animal prepared to snap at anybody that threatens me… I’ve decided to give up on the dream of a reality where I have the best of everything, and instead decided to settle on the unfulfilling reality. So for any teenager readers out there, I have only this to say to you, “Fuck growing up… It sucks donkey balls!!!”

For the Girlfriend Pt 2

I’m starting to realize I’m maybe not the best boyfriend. Because most of this guys “Exaggerations” are straight up real things I do… If you’re reading this Baby Doll… You win, you’re right, I’m sorry… [P.S. Enjoy this victory, it will be few and far between in the future]

Statistical Data

So I was digging through the internet looking at random statistics, why? Because I’m insane!
And I was thinking to myself, “Who comes up with these?” I get that some of these statistics are performed as as scientific experiment, where fluctuating data is taken into account, and a consistent amount of people are brought in, and consistent findings are discovered, but some of these statistics are so insane. For example, “20% of shark attacks occur to swimmers!” That’s kind of a low number don’t you think? I mean, the argument could be made that there’s a larger percentage in there of shark attacks which occur to surfer’s, but I mean don’t the surfers have to swim out there on their boards to get their asses chomped by Jaw’s? It just seems stupid to me, I don’t get it. I don’t want to get it. I just want to stop seeing ridiculous statistics on the internet like, “1 in 5 people are Chinese!” I have a really strong urge to snap the groin of the idiot who offers up a statistic to further their own argument FOR statistics too. I’m just getting that out there right now.