So it goes like this…

I’m becoming increasingly more aware of how violent I have been in the past, how violent I could be if I didn’t control my anger anymore, how violent I sound to people when I am asked to describe how I received each and everyone of my scars. My coworker actually commented to me, “You were a wild kind of person growing up weren’t you?”

And that’s the thing, I wasn’t really. I was the kid who liked to sit in the back of class with a comic book, circumstances unfolded to shape me into the way I am. Looking at pictures of me B.I. (Before Independence) I was really happy, not eternally angry like I was a few years ago. I have a gleam in my eyes that say’s I haven’t given up on my dreams… Now that gleam is gone, and it’s been replaced with a general distrust of everybody, a sense of impending doom that has made me something of a wild animal prepared to snap at anybody that threatens me… I’ve decided to give up on the dream of a reality where I have the best of everything, and instead decided to settle on the unfulfilling reality. So for any teenager readers out there, I have only this to say to you, “Fuck growing up… It sucks donkey balls!!!”


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